Answering Kids’ Hardest Questions: Won’t God Accept Me Because of the Good Things I’ve Done?

This text is a part of the Answering Kids’ Hardest Questions collection.

A Coronary heart Posture

Received’t God settle for me if I’m adequate or if I do all the correct issues? A few of our youngsters have that sort of query. Really, all of us, to some extent, particularly if we’re folks pleasers and we attempt to do the correct factor, that might be an individual who tends to battle with recognizing generally that they’ve sin of their life. Or we may go searching and see the sibling that’s doing far worse issues and assume, I’m doing okay. And so we will generally translate that, or youngsters generally can, to I’m doing okay. I’m not like my brother.

It may be laborious to acknowledge that we have to assist these youngsters who are typically slightly bit extra just like the older brother within the story of the prodigal son—not the one which’s as naturally pushing towards the foundations, however the one which looks as if they’re pretty compliant. If we’re sincere as dad and mom, generally we will assume, Oh, that little one’s doing wonderful. They’re listening to me. They’re following what I say. They’re pleasing me. That is nice, however what usually can occur behind the floor is the center situation behind that will not be a coronary heart posture of submission. It could be attempting to please for his or her achieve. It could be merely attempting to keep away from getting in hassle.

It could not translate to an understanding that they want a Savior simply as a lot as their little brother who’s perhaps pushing all of the boundaries. And so we have to method that little one slightly bit otherwise, serving to them perceive that conduct on the floor could appear to be you’re following the foundations, and that’s great. God desires us to obey his legal guidelines. He desires you to obey mommy and daddy. But it surely’s additionally necessary to ask your self, Why? The place in your coronary heart are there temptations to assume that you just’re higher than your brother or your sister? Are there temptations to evaluate them since you assume you wouldn’t make that mistake? That’s additionally a coronary heart of satisfaction, which is sin.

We have to assist them perceive extra broadly what sin is. It’s about being in a relationship with God, pursuing his holiness in a approach that isn’t nearly conduct and decisions. We are able to practice our kids into obedience, however does that put together a coronary heart to undergo their heavenly Father? It could in a behavioral sense, however not at all times within the coronary heart of submission. Studying the story of the prodigal son has been actually useful in our household.

That’s why I wrote on that matter as a result of I believe all of us have a coronary heart of each of the youthful son and the older son. However we might help our kids see the tendency that they’ve. We could discover that one has slightly extra of a rebellious spirit, however one could battle extra with this query. We are able to discuss with them and assist them perceive what sin is in our hearts. It’s not at all times simply conduct. It’s generally an perspective we’ve got.

It’s that, certain, I’m doing what you instructed me to, however I’m really not comfortable about it inside or I’m doing it for my very own achieve. I’m not likely doing it as a result of I wish to honor the one who’s asking me. The older son within the story was doing the correct issues. He wasn’t disobeying his father. He didn’t do the hurtful factor like his little brother of claiming, Give me my inheritance. I wish to go away you and I wish to go spend this cash. So on the floor, he seemed like he was making the higher decisions—and he was in some sense.

However what occurred when the youthful son got here residence was that the daddy got here operating to his youthful son, so overjoyed that his son who was misplaced was now discovered. And what got here up within the older brother then was satisfaction, anger, and a sense of injustice. I deserve this. He doesn’t deserve that. And we’re going to see a few of that conduct come up in our youngsters. Having our personal minds ready to know that this coronary heart of sin is in all of our kids. They’re all created within the picture of God. They’re all liked past measure. However to have the ability to maintain that in tandem with an understanding that we’re all fallen beings.

It’s encouraging to assist youngsters to see that God doesn’t want you to be good.

How that comes out could look totally different in every of our youngsters. Perhaps ask questions of your little one. What makes you assume that your brother is worse than you? What makes you assume that you recognize since you made this determination? Do you assume God loves you greater than he loves your brother? Asking our youngsters questions again will be extremely fruitful as a result of it helps them study to be discerning themselves, to be vital thinkers. Then, open the Bible with them, open to this prodigal son story and say, What do you see within the older son? Do you assume that was the correct response for him to have when his brother got here residence? And why do you assume he was offended?

It’s attention-grabbing how our youngsters can pull out issues much more than we count on them to. They might begin to discover themselves in that story. Or you possibly can gently level out one thing like, You realize, I’ve seen generally, sweetie, that there are occasions when your brother does one thing and also you sort of gloat round him like he deserves that. And serving to them see {that a} coronary heart posture can be sin.

There’s really nice freedom in realizing they will’t earn God’s forgiveness as a result of that may finally develop down the street as adults into this concept that I’ve to stay as much as this good normal. And that’s crushing. We might help our youngsters once they’re youthful to know they will’t be adequate, as a result of it doesn’t matter what, we’ve got all fallen wanting God’s requirements. And unusually, there’s freedom in that as a result of we don’t should show that we deserve it as a result of we are going to all come up towards one thing sooner or later in our life the place we’re confronted with our fallenness. Assist them perceive that, and they are going to be extra prone to run to the Lord once they do see the ugliness of their sin. It could actually additionally assist to indicate compassion from sibling to sibling after we perceive that all of us battle in several methods.

How can we help one another? How can we encourage one another as an alternative of this comparability that one is best than the opposite? It’s encouraging to assist youngsters to see that God doesn’t want you to be good. God doesn’t want you to show that you’re adequate, and there’s freedom in that. You can find higher pleasure when you possibly can submit your self to him and be capable of actually see that the nice I’m doing just isn’t for me. It’s to not show something, however it’s as a result of I actually wish to honor the Lord.

Sarah Walton is the creator of The Long Road Home: A Tale of Two Sons and a Father’s Never-Ending Love.

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