This text is a part of the The Crossway Podcast sequence.
Why Is It So Exhausting to Have Self-Management?
On this episode, Sharonda Cooper shares sensible methods for creating self-control in key areas of life from health and consuming habits to religious disciplines like prayer and Bible studying. She additionally provides insights into how setting significant targets and counting on the Holy Spirit may help us develop in our self-control, highlighting the very important significance of neighborhood as we search to assist each other comply with Jesus extra faithfully.
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Matters Addressed in This Interview:
Matt Tully
Sharonda, thanks a lot for becoming a member of me on The Crossway Podcast.
Sharonda Cooper
Thanks for having me.
Matt Tully
The subject of self-control is a type of subjects that I believe for many of us might be one which instantly elicits some form of low degree guilt or disgrace as we take into consideration our personal lives. All of us have some space—or perhaps areas—the place we really feel like I’ve room to develop in my self-control on this means. However it could possibly generally be fairly laborious to speak about regardless that it’s most likely a common expertise. Are you able to resonate with that, that this generally is a delicate space for some purpose?
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah, it undoubtedly is. And I believe a part of the explanation that we expertise that’s we’ve this, whether or not we are saying it or not, we wish to fake like we’ve all of it collectively, particularly within the Christian world. I believe we wish to make it appear as if we will juggle all these balls and we will handle our lives very well. It’s laborious to show these issues which can be troublesome. It’s laborious to confess that you just’re struggling in a selected space. There are particular sins that to be extra acceptable than others.
Matt Tully
Yeah, like Respectable Sins, that traditional e book.
Sharonda Cooper
Sure, precisely. And I believe with self-control the opposite factor about it’s that quite a lot of instances folks really feel as if it’s one thing that they need to be capable of muscle up. They need to be capable of determine it out and have extra self-control. Whereas with different facets of the Christian life, we all know that they’re merely given to us by the Lord. With self-control, it type of appears like, Effectively, if I can’t cease consuming potato chips, that’s on me. Why can’t I do this?
Matt Tully
As a result of different folks I do know can.
Sharonda Cooper
Precisely. After which there’s that guilt and the query, What’s unsuitable with me? Why am I not a really robust particular person? A number of my expertise with self-control comes out of the health world as a result of I’m a bunch health teacher and I’ve been a private coach and have been attempting to assist folks with their weight and their consuming for years and years and years. And that’s an issue for lots of us. Whether or not you say it or not, everyone knows what it’s prefer to overindulge. Everyone knows what it’s prefer to not train once we ought to, or not train as a lot as we must always. And so self-control—I bear in mind after I was finding out for my private coach examination, the self-control piece, the motivation piece, was my favourite. It’s lots about how one can assist somebody decide that one thing’s value working for. How do you persuade this lady who loves to only sit at house at evening and bask in chocolate, how do you assist her focus a lot on her objective that she could be keen to put aside the chocolate? That’s laborious.
Matt Tully
And that’s such an insightful factor that we’re going to get into that so usually with self-control, we consider it as perhaps self-denial, as saying no to dangerous issues. And we perhaps neglect and we don’t assume as a lot concerning the different facet of that coin, which is we’ve to have one thing we’re saying sure to that’s extra highly effective than what we’re saying no to. So we’ll get into that in only a minute. How would you outline self-control from a biblical perspective as a Christian?
Sharonda Cooper
I considered that fairly a bit. I did some analysis earlier than I wrote this part, as a result of I believe in my very own thoughts I had a definition, however I wished to be sure that the definition was coming from Scripture. So I did learn fairly a number of commentaries. I learn different theologians simply to determine how we’re describing it and the way we’re explaining it. As a result of I believe lots of people perceive self-control because it implies that you’ll be able to management your self, that you just don’t give in to issues that you just’re not supposed to present into. We expect that while you develop into a Christian, God provides you the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit provides you the flexibility to say no to sin. Previous to you changing into a Christian, you really have been a slave to sin. That’s what the Bible says. So that you couldn’t essentially do the factor that you need to do. You’re drawn to the factor that you just shouldn’t do. And that also occurs for Christians. However the distinction is that we’ve the Holy Spirit, and with the Holy Spirit’s assist, we will really say no to the sin. I believe within the e book I do describe it as one thing like saying no to 1 factor so that you could say sure to one thing else. And I like to think about it that means as a result of it’s not solely self-denial. Typically you’re selecting between two superb issues, however it’s important to perceive how you can make that call. And that actually comes from a mature understanding of the Scriptures, a mature understanding of the Christian life. It’s not cookie cutter. Totally different choices will probably be made at totally different instances for various causes. However generally, self-control means that you’re not simply drawn into issues which can be sinful. You’re not simply drawn into issues that the Lord wouldn’t need you to be part of.
Matt Tully
You talked about the Holy Spirit a minute in the past, and I’d think about all the listeners right here to us at the moment would acknowledge the significance of the Holy Spirit for our lives. And particularly, on this problem and as we resist temptation and pursue what God has for us, all of us would know that the Spirit needs to be behind that work, empowering that. And but I’m wondering if, and I’ll converse for myself, it appears like there are particular points within the Christian life—and self-control, as we already mentioned, is perhaps a type of—the place perhaps it may be just a little unclear to me generally. How do I take into consideration the Spirit’s position in giving me self-control and my position in having perseverance and grit and dealing laborious? It might really feel like perhaps these are at odds. We simply don’t know how you can weigh every of these issues. So assist us perceive the Spirit’s position versus our position on the subject of pursuing self management.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah, that’s a terrific query. Once you have been speaking, I used to be fascinated about a e book that I learn on the religious disciplines, and the writer makes use of this analogy, imagining that you’re strolling beside the water. And should you stroll near the shore, water will splash on you. However should you get within the water, should you simply climb in and let the water type of come as much as your neck, now you’re engrossed by the water. And he makes use of this to assist us perceive what the Lord is doing and what you might be doing. So should you’re strolling alongside the shore, the water will splash on you, however the Lord is inviting you to truly get in. Get in and get moist. Get utterly lined with water. And I believe that could be a useful means to consider this too. So the Holy Spirit is in you, however the Scriptures say to be crammed with the Holy Spirit, be repeatedly crammed, which implies that the Lord needs us to come back to him. Most of us attempt every single day and ask the Lord, “Please fill me with the Holy Spirit. Please enhance the presents. Please give me the grace to stroll in a way worthy of the calling to which I’ve been referred to as. Assist me to stroll like Christ.” So he’s there. We pray and ask for his assist, however there’s nonetheless that accountability to do one thing. In the event you proceed to only stroll alongside the shore, you’ll get the little splashes. However he invitations us to come back on in. Sanctification is a joint undertaking. Justification shouldn’t be. Justification is all of him. However with sanctification, he invitations us to take part. A few of us take part greater than others. So so far as self-control is worried, I gives you a quite simple instance that may make quite a lot of sense. Potato chips. If I might simply eat potato chips.
Matt Tully
There are lots of people nodding their heads.
Sharonda Cooper
There’s this new potato chip that we discovered. It’s a tortilla chip—
Matt Tully
There’s all the time a brand new chip.
Sharonda Cooper
Oh man. It’s a tortilla chip, and it’s virtually like a Dorito, but it surely’s not tacky. It’s simply tremendous, tremendous flavorful. I don’t even know the title of the model. We had our kitchen transformed, and one of many males engaged on the kitchen would convey these chips every single day. I used to be like, “What are these?” He’s consuming them every single day. So I purchased a bag, and oh man! So our complete household has been transformed. We’re like into this chip. And final week I despatched my husband an image of a bag that I purchased on the grocery retailer, and I mentioned, “You realize, someday I wish to simply eat these chips all day. I gained’t eat anything. I simply need these chips.”
Matt Tully
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Sharonda Cooper
All that to say, that’s the factor that’s actually laborious for me. And so after I take into consideration self-control across the consuming of chips, I believe, Okay, the Lord has given me the Holy Spirit. I don’t should eat all these chips. I can if I wish to. He nonetheless permits me to make that call. If I wish to eat all of the chips, I can. And so how does this work collectively? I take into consideration how I’ve the flexibility to not eat the chips. If I resolve that I don’t wish to eat all of the chips at the moment, what do I do? Effectively, I would pour out a portion after which shut up the bag. Possibly I’ll even take the bag to the storage so it’s not really easy for me to only run to the pantry and get them. I can arrange some boundaries. And I do this in quite a lot of totally different points that I wrestle with. And I believe that could be a useful means to consider it. We do have the flexibility, however we nonetheless have issues that we’ve to place in place generally to assist us.
Matt Tully
That’s so useful too. I believe generally as Christians—I don’t know should you really feel this fashion—perhaps significantly with points like self-control, we will so spiritualize them that generally we neglect quite simple, sensible, earthly methods, in sense, that God would possibly name us to be sensible in how we take into consideration these items.
Sharonda Cooper
Sure, precisely. I’ve a bunch of ladies that I’m discipling proper now. One of many girls is actually combating being distracted when she reads the Bible. We meet as a bunch of 5. We have been speaking to her about among the issues that she would possibly attempt, as a result of one of many issues that she’s doing is she’s opening up her pc after which she’s studying Scripture on a web site. However the issue with that’s that there are different issues in your pc which can be distracting you. And so one of many girls mentioned, “Have you ever ever considered perhaps leaving your cellphone and your pc in one other room if you find yourself studying the Bible?” And I recommended that as properly. I mentioned, “Take a Bible with pages right into a room with nothing else. You realize that you’ve got the flexibility to learn the Bible with the pc there, however you additionally know that the temptation is nice. So why not take away the temptation?” Go right into a room with simply the Bible.
Matt Tully
Typically we predict as Christians, Effectively, I shouldn’t should take away the temptation. I ought to simply be robust sufficient that it doesn’t sway me anymore.
Sharonda Cooper
No.
Matt Tully
Why is that not the precise means to consider this?
Sharonda Cooper
No, that’s undoubtedly not the precise means to consider it as a result of we’ve to acknowledge that we’re nonetheless in our flesh. I imagine that one in every of as of late Jesus will return, and we can have glorified our bodies and we gained’t should wrestle with the flesh. However even Paul mentioned, “Why am I doing the factor that I don’t wish to do?” Now we have to acknowledge that we’ve to be humble and say if I sit on this room with my pc, I’m going to finish up on Fb as a substitute of on the Bible.
Matt Tully
If I depart these chips on the counter . . .
Sharonda Cooper
I’ll eat the entire bag.
Matt Tully
Let’s speak just a little bit extra about that problem of, sure, self-control requires usually saying no to one thing that we would need or would possibly really feel good within the second, but it surely additionally requires having one thing higher—a better objective that we’re capturing for. I simply consider the all of the conversations round forming these good habits. There looks as if there’s even a broad, secular understanding of the significance of getting not just some very concrete, sensible issues set in place to assist us do what we are saying we wish to do, however even having larger image targets in thoughts. So converse to that just a little bit from a Christian perspective. How ought to we take into consideration pursuing godliness and people beliefs as we are saying no to dangerous habits?
Sharonda Cooper
I like fascinated about that and I like speaking about that as a result of, generally, if you consider the Christian life, The Pilgrim’s Progress, one in every of our favourite books, why does he proceed on the journey? It’s as a result of he has one thing that he’s attempting to perform. There’s a objective, an incredible accomplishment that he’s hoping for. And regardless that all of those obstacles are in his means, he perseveres via it as a result of there’s a objective on the finish. I usually wrestle with this and that, and what I’ll say to myself is, “For the enjoyment set earlier than him, he endured the cross. For the enjoyment set earlier than him, he endured the cross.” For me, there’s a objective, and there’s a objective for you. So regardless that these obstacles will come, should you preserve your eyes mounted on the objective and also you pursue the Lord and also you ask for his assist and his grace, he’s going to present it. He needs you to succeed in the objective as a lot as you do. So that’s our total objective, to be within the presence of the Lord on that day and to listen to, “Effectively carried out, good and devoted servant.” However then there are little targets alongside the best way too. I take into consideration my son. My son is an incredible instance to us. He simply graduated from highschool. He’s a runner. Years in the past, I believe when he was in ninth grade, he was doing cross nation and monitor, and he was good. However he was good as a result of it was simple. He had pure expertise.
Matt Tully
He was simply naturally gifted in direction of working.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah. His coaches regarded and so they mentioned, “Wow! Have a look at his gait. He simply runs so properly. It’s simple for him.”
Matt Tully
I’d like to know what that was like.
Sharonda Cooper
I do know. I’m not a runner. However he ran a race—I believe it was a state race or one thing—and he was lapped by two different runners who have been his similar age. I believe they have been all freshmen or one thing. So he was lapped. And one thing occurred and he determined that he would begin to make some sacrifices to develop into a greater runner. And he simply graduated, and at commencement he was valedictorian. He gave this speech, and he talked concerning the sacrifices that he needed to make in an effort to accomplish his objective. He’s going to be a runner, he’s going to run at MIT. So he met these targets, however what did it take? A number of his classmates simply assume, Oh, he achieved all these items as a result of it’s simple for him. Effectively, no, it wasn’t simple. There have been days he needed to stand up at 5am to learn his Bible, then run ten miles, then come again, go to jazz band—all of these items that he needed to do. However why did he do it? As a result of he had a objective. He wished to have the ability to run. He wished to have the ability to win the race. He wished to have the ability to get to the top. So he’s been simply an enormous instance to us. As you watch a baby make sacrifices for a objective, it actually does encourage you to do the identical factor in many alternative methods.
Matt Tully
And what you mentioned proper there made me take into consideration one other factor that generally we will all really feel. Once we see any person else—one other Christian, let’s say—who doesn’t appear to wrestle in a sure means like we would, or they appear to be additional alongside and so they appear to exhibit quite a lot of self-control in a sure space in a means that we don’t, it may be simple for us to perhaps put them in a special class. You talked about that you just’re into health. I learn someplace that you just’re an elite health coach. It may be simple to say, “Effectively, that simply should imply the entire health world have to be simple for her. She’s simply wired in another way.” Is there any fact in that? Is {that a} honest means to consider this, the place we perhaps put sure folks in a class of “That is simply simpler for them than it will be for me”?
Sharonda Cooper
I believe that generally issues are simpler. For instance, I don’t wrestle with getting up early within the morning. It’s by no means been an issue for me. I stand up. I don’t hit snooze. I’m going to the toilet. I get my garments on. I do my quiet time. I’m going to the health club. Nearly each single day. However there are lots of people who wrestle with that. That’s form of my factor. However then there is perhaps an space the place I wrestle with weak point, and one other particular person is powerful. So it’s not useful to make these comparisons. God has wired us in numerous methods.
Matt Tully
And it’s not an excuse.
Sharonda Cooper
It’s not an excuse. And one of many stunning issues concerning the physique of Christ, the attractive factor concerning the native church, is that I’m weak in some areas, you’re robust in these areas, and we will really assist one another. A number of instances our pastors will ask me to assist a selected particular person as a result of they’re combating self-discipline, self-control. However there are areas by which I need assistance from a special particular person. I wrestle with compassion. And so quite a lot of instances I’m pursuing individuals who will type of assist me develop in that space. It’s not useful to make the comparability, however it’s useful generally to name on somebody who perhaps has just a little extra experience in a selected space that will help you. There are actually ways in which we may help one another develop.
Matt Tully
And my expertise, too, is that as Christians, once we are exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit, that fruit usually results in extra fruit in different methods too. So self-control usually begets self-control in different areas of our lives. And so there’s a optimistic suggestions loop that may occur there. So we would see somebody who does appear to have some issues perhaps extra put collectively than we do. That doesn’t imply it was simple, although, for them or pure.
Sharonda Cooper
And that’s a extremely good level that you just convey up. Possibly we have to have extra conversations about that as a result of we will encourage one another. In the event you simply see any person who seems like they’ve all of it collectively, that may be discouraging. However when you have a dialog, you understand, Oh, okay. These are the kinds of issues that you just needed to do to get thus far. Then it’s encouraging since you assume, Effectively, I can do this. I can do this too.
Matt Tully
In your devotions on this subject, you hit on a number of totally different areas of our lives that the Bible hits on and connects to this subject of self-control. And we’ve talked about one in every of them—how we take care of our our bodies. Scripture does converse to that just a little bit. However I wished to hit on a few the opposite areas. Considered one of them is clearly the difficulty of sexuality. Scripture says lots about that subject. Why do you assume that’s such a prevalent theme in Scripture related to self-control? And the way ought to we as Christians take into consideration this very delicate subject?
Sharonda Cooper
That’s an enormous query. I’ve some concepts. Proper now our kids are eighteen and twenty. And we’re absolutely conscious of the cultural local weather and what it’s like for folks in that demographic with simply all the confusion that there’s.
Matt Tully
To be an adolescent over the last decade is only a lot.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah. And I used to be additionally struck by how a lot the Scriptures speak to the difficulty of sexuality. Effectively, only in the near past I went to a convention and I heard a girl converse. She is an apologist, and he or she is attempting to assist the Christian neighborhood develop into extra conscious of among the issues that our kids are studying and listening to and studying and the ways in which we perhaps have fallen behind on coaching them to know the biblical view of sexuality. And so regardless that my kids are eighteen and twenty, we at the moment are having extra conversations about this. And one of many issues this lady has taught us is that your view of intercourse is a direct reflection of your view of God. And it’s virtually prefer it clicked. Why does the Bible converse a lot about sexuality? Why does it converse a lot about purity? One man, one lady for all times, and sustaining the wedding mattress, and all of these items. Effectively, I’m beginning to perceive it. Although I’m forty-nine years outdated. I believe I only in the near past understood. Effectively, it’s as a result of should you assault that, should you assault sexuality, should you assault God’s design for women and men, it’s a direct assault on God. It’s on the basis of the whole lot that he designed. It begins proper in Genesis 1–3. One man, one lady, the household unit—it’s simply stunning. And this is the reason it’s being attacked. As we create confusion in our youngsters, we create confusion on a number of ranges. My daughter says such nice issues. Now that she’s twenty and on a secular school campus, she comes house with nuggets of fact that I actually want I might simply disseminate to all mother and father in all places without delay. However she got here house someday, or perhaps she even texted and this may occasionally have been a cellphone dialog, however she mentioned, “Mother, now I get it. I couldn’t perceive why so many individuals have been all in favour of pornography and so many individuals had such a warped view of intercourse. However I get it now. Their complete understanding of what intercourse is has come out of porn tradition. That’s all they know. They assume that’s the highest type of intimacy.” So she mentioned, “Right here’s the issue: we want them to know that there’s one thing higher. You guys taught us that there’s one thing higher. God’s design is healthier. It’s value ready for. It’s value saving your self for. In the event you don’t assume that there’s something value saving your self for, you’re simply going to present your self away at any whim. You’re going to only pursue your personal self-gratification. You’re not going to have an extended view.”
Matt Tully
And having the self-control to say no to these needs with out there being one thing higher that God has ready for us, a greater design that he has, these needs could be so robust that you just’re simply not going to have the ability to really resist that.
Sharonda Cooper
Precisely. So I do assume that’s part of it. I believe that’s a part of the explanation that the Scriptures converse so closely about controlling your physique and fascinated about purity. And it’s a stunning factor. I’ve a good friend—she’s treasured. She’s an older lady, and he or she is single and he or she would like to be married sometime. And her prayer is that her life would placed on show the truth that she is ready and hopeful that perhaps her state of affairs would change. However what does it seem like to dwell in that interval of ready? What does it seem like to point out Christ as your treasure? And I believe that’s actually what the Lord is asking all of us to do, whether or not you’re married or single. How are you displaying to the world that Christ is your treasure? In the event you’re single, meaning you abstain. You abstain. In the event you’re married, that implies that you prize the wedding mattress. That implies that you defend your marriage. All of these issues are stunning tips that could what God has designed and what a treasure it’s to be with Christ and in Christ.
Matt Tully
One other space by which all of us most likely wrestle with self-control at instances is in how we converse to 1 one other and the phrases that we select to make use of. And once more, the Scripture speaks to this lots. It talks concerning the tongue being this flame of fireplace that simply has the potential to take action a lot injury. Converse just a little bit about that for us.
Sharonda Cooper
That’s one other one which we see every single day. I’m not likely on social media very a lot, however I believe the explanation I keep away from, actually, is as a result of I’m pissed off after I see folks hurting one another—strangers even—hurting one another. However what frustrates me most, and I spoke about this at a ladies’s convention not too long ago, is Christians biting Christians. That’s the factor. Only recently I noticed an change between two folks, and there was a remark, and the remark was from a good friend of mine that I’ve been attempting to share the gospel with for years and years and years. Are you aware what the dialog was? It was one Christian speaking to a different Christian, complaining about how dangerous the church is. And I’m attempting to share the gospel with this one that sees this change and says, “That’s precisely why I don’t ever wish to go to church.” And I believed, What have we carried out? We go browsing, we are saying no matter involves thoughts, we don’t understand who we’re hurting. Within the Fruitful devotional, one of many issues that every writer was alleged to do was take into consideration that fruit and ask, How does that fruit develop in your life? How does the Lord domesticate that fruit in your life? However then additionally how does it have an effect on these round you? And while you don’t have self-control together with your speech, it impacts these round you huge time. Take into consideration your personal household. In the event you come house from work and also you simply begin spouting off issues—even should you’re saying issues which can be high-quality, however in form of a nasty tone or snarky tone—it completely impacts the environment within the house. If mother does that, if youngsters do this, should you do this at work, should you simply are biting together with your phrases to your coworkers or to your staff, it simply modifications the environment. It’s very, very laborious to get these again. When you say the unsuitable factor, it’s very, very laborious to take it again. And so we simply want to wish that the Lord will assist us cease for a second earlier than we converse. One of many issues we advised our son is simply because it’s true, doesn’t imply you’ll want to say it. As a result of quite a lot of instances, little youngsters inform you precisely what they assume. They don’t assume, Oh, is that this going to harm her emotions?
Matt Tully
Proper in entrance of the particular person.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah, they simply say it. And we’ve to show our kids to cease for a second and assume, Does it should be mentioned? Typically it completely must be mentioned, however does it should be mentioned at the moment? Does it should be mentioned in entrance of those folks? Does it should be mentioned on-line? My private opinion is that many of the issues that we are saying on-line don’t should be mentioned on-line. They should be mentioned in particular person.
Matt Tully
Possibly one different space—and this is only one that I believe all of us most likely at sure factors of our lives have perhaps struggled with, however perhaps not as a lot proper now—could be the difficulty of religious disciplines, of getting self-control and self-discipline to then do a few of these basic items that God calls us to do as believers. In order that’s prayer, studying his phrase, fellowshiping with different Christians. Typically we will put these in their very own class, maybe. They really feel like they’re totally different than saying no to chips. However is that how we must always take into consideration that?
Sharonda Cooper
No, I don’t assume it’s useful to consider it that means. Non secular disciplines are so vital. It goes again to what I mentioned earlier about getting within the water. So while you develop into a Christian, the Holy spirit involves dwell in you, and so, sure, you might be justified. You may have been made a baby of God. However now you’ve sanctification, and that course of will proceed all through the remainder of your life. So it’s extra useful to consider how I can make the most of these instruments that God is giving me to develop into extra like Jesus. That’s actually what the disciplines are. If you consider it, Bible studying, prayer, fasting, stewardship of your time and your cash, journaling—all of these issues are merely instruments in a toolbox that God has given you to develop into extra like Jesus. And you may take these instruments and use them as a lot as you need. You’ll be able to learn the Bible for ten minutes a day. You’ll be able to learn the Bible for 2 hours a day. Throughout COVID, I actually struggled. And so what I did? I wanted to double the time that I’m spending within the phrase as a result of I’m fearful, I’m anxious, and I often am not fearful or anxious. I’m depressed, and I’m by no means depressed. What do I have to do? Effectively, what I’ve discovered over time is that the Lord says, “Come to me. Convey all these issues to me.” So I’d sit within the room for 2 hours simply studying the Bible, and I’d learn different supplies simply to assist me perceive, okay, the world is on fireplace. I don’t wish to be on fireplace. I have to go to the One who is similar yesterday, at the moment, and ceaselessly. So after I take into consideration religious disciplines, these are instruments, and the instruments can be found. How a lot do you wish to decide them up? I can decide up journaling. Possibly I wish to journal for the following month as a result of I’m actually struggling, or I’m fasting this month for the salvation of one in every of my kids, or one thing like that. It’s a gorgeous factor that God provides you the choices, and you should use them as a lot as you need. In numerous seasons of life, you could want a selected software greater than you wanted it earlier than. And so as a substitute of considering of it the best way that you just mentioned, take into consideration how these are instruments. How am I going to make the most of them?
Matt Tully
And that simply goes again to what we began this complete dialog about. So usually we give attention to the responsibility facet, we give attention to saying no to our sinful flesh. And once more, there’s a part of that. That’s not completely unsuitable. However perhaps we might do properly to consider how we are saying no to say sure to one thing else. There’s a optimistic objective that’s a better factor, which is what we’re referred to as to do. Possibly as a remaining query, Sharonda, I’m wondering if there’s anybody listening proper now who would simply say, “I simply really feel discouraged as a result of I simply know I actually wrestle with self-control in a number of areas.” A number of the issues we’ve talked about at the moment, they’d say, “I’m simply not doing it very properly.” They usually simply really feel discouraged. What recommendation would you give to any person who is perhaps feeling that means proper now?
Sharonda Cooper
That’s a terrific query to finish on. I’ve two associates proper now who’re in that boat. Particularly, they’re combating Bible studying and prayer. They don’t but have the will to learn the Bible and pray. Nevertheless, they’re Christians, and so they know that they need to learn the Bible and pray. And they also’ve come to me for assist. And our method is multi-pronged, so we’re doing a lot of issues. One of many issues that we’re doing—an important factor—is praying that the Lord would give them a love for his phrase and a love for prayer and only a love of communion with God. A few of it’s educating. I’ve taught them some strategies. I’ve given them some issues to contemplate, methods to type of inject the Scriptures into their life, perhaps even out of the field methods. For instance, I mentioned, “You wrestle with simply sitting down and studying your Bible. So can you place a Scripture on a card and put it on the wall and even on the visor in your automobile so that each time you go to a stoplight, you simply have a look at that Scripture. It’s just one verse, however we begin someplace. We begin someplace. So I’m attempting to present them new concepts and new methods to work together with the phrase. However then additionally it’s actually giving them an understanding of the fantastic thing about Scripture. Possibly they’ve all the time seen it as a chore, however I would like them to view it as a chance for relationship. I don’t know the way this occurred in my very own life, however an extended, very long time in the past, somebody from someplace taught me that we go to the Scriptures to be with the Lord. It’s not a chore. So your devotions or your quiet time, no matter you wish to name it, your bible studying plan, it’s not an inventory to be checked off. You would possibly come to the Scriptures someday and also you’re struggling in an space, and also you simply pour over a verse again and again. One other day you learn a complete chapter. It’s a relationship, and it’s going to look totally different. So I’m attempting to assist them perceive that. I’m attempting to present them causes to go to the Scriptures. A number of instances I’m doing my devotions within the morning, and I’ll ship them a textual content and I’ll simply say, “Go to this verse. Look what I noticed at the moment.” I would like them to be excited concerning the phrase. So I believe that, to reply your query, you want a good friend, you want a good friend. I imagine in discipleship. love the native church. If I’m struggling in an space, what’s going to I do? I’ll discover any person who understands that space of life just a little higher than I do and is just a little additional alongside, and I requested them to come back alongside me and disciple me. And I like to try this for others. I believe that’s really what the Lord would have us do. In the event you’re struggling, discover any person who may help you. Discover any person who cannot solely maintain you accountable, however pour into you and stroll via the wrestle with you and show you how to get to the opposite facet.
Matt Tully
Yeah, we don’t have to do that alone. We’re not designed to do that alone. Sharonda, thanks a lot for speaking with us at the moment, sharing just a little bit about your personal experiences pursuing self-control. It’s empowered by the Spirit, but additionally one thing that we’ve to work at. Now we have to consider carefully about it. We admire it.
Sharonda Cooper
Thanks.
